im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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