so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
