And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
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