This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
