No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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