I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
