he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
