we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Randomize
