I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
