My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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