I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize