You work out of a Hotel?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
