Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Randomize
