a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Just invented taco cereal.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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