I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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