I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
