the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
only if we run a train.
done.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
