I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
