Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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