I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Mom said you looked used
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
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