btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
