is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
He passed out mid-signature
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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