He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
