I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
