my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Edward fifth and chaser hands
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
