i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
