last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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