Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
