Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
My vagina is very pro this idea
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