Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I need water and some morals
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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