maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Randomize
