UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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