; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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