Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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