Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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