I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
