a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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