You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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