Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
