Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
