Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
