evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
