You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
