yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
