I'm going to jail i love you
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
he high fived his dick after we had sex
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
