Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
