I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
