how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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