I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
