mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I need to align my fucking chakras
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
