i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
